I've found the perfect place.

http://redlightdistrik.tumblr.com/

so, goodbye.



It's high time to realise who matters, who doesn't anymore and who never did. And the irony is, I never liked conclusions like these.
I'm tired of feeling like i'm the worst person alive. Please, just leave me alone.
I’ve heard it all before
The same game
Going around and around
But I still end up with nothing
But hurting
I see it in your eyes
All the compromise
I can’t take another
Slow goodbye


Another night of getting eaten up by your own thoughts and reasonings. Our hearts, they beat and break.






Ask me, I will show you how (:
I wish, we would not take the people around us for granted. You don't know how much you're going to lose out by doing that. Forgive and forget, the best virtue a person can have.

Merry Christmas.
To me, there are fine lines everywhere, they float around us. There's a fine line between murder and man slaughter, a fine line between lies and white lies. So that's the problem with grey areas, we don't see them. Most of the time, we don't even know when we've crossed them. Now there's a fine line between euphoria and depression. It's just like sitting on a fence. Topple over a little and you're easily on one side. And that's why we're always on a wild ride because the fence is so bloody difficult to sit on.

I feel a little older everyday.
to be. says (10:18 PM):
you're the one who matters, not them.
to be. says (10:18 PM):
they want you bcos of what they want.
to be. says (10:18 PM):
not for the
to be. says (10:18 PM):
best of you


maybe, you're right afterall.
I constantly insist on explaining the obvious when it is pointless.
And I'm bluntly crude on voicing what's really on my mind.
Your words go to the rhythm, while mine go to rhyme.
I was always good with syllables and half heartfelt lines.
But my lips are sealed, but you speak in fiction.
So keep telling your stories, even though I'll never listen.
Witness the empty canvas become our painting.
Not all roads lead to Rome as this one leads to the hell back home.
Well, back at home where the air makes you choke.
People pretend to know you and trust, but a joke.
We don't even have photographs, just memories to hold.
That grow sweeter each season, as we grow old.
And I'll leave behind all the things I swore I ever meant.


Your drugs didn't work.


FaberDrive's songs are on repeat.
We write to taste life twice; in the Moment and in Retrospection.

Nicely said.
Today, I was again reminded of why I wanted to study in UK. And here I am succumbing to the prospect of entering NUS/ NTU/ SMU.

Choices you made are always wrong, the grass is always greener on the other side.
If I give you the chance to make right one of your many regrets in life, which one would it be? And if I give you the chance to re-live a certain episode of your life again, would you finally know how to treasure?

As much as we wish for, there's no pills for regret.


And life goes on, we make mistakes over and over again, until the day when the rocking chair and afternoon sun bring us through our life again in crystal clear memories. Maybe, that's when we finally summarise our life, draw major conclusions, and remember the things we so stubbornly tell the world that we've forgotten.


Let go. Two simple words. But to do that is like waging a war with yourself. You hurt, bleed, until nothing is left. Pain is just a necessary path to recovery.


Congratulations, you're on the way.
And at the end of everything, you tend to look back at the beginning.

One of my favourite things to do in the world is wasting time. I don't know why, maybe it's because of how we magnify time's preciousness so greatly that I find it so cheaply enjoyable.

I like how still the air can get when I switch off the aircon and just lay here motionless. Call me crazy, but I think silence has a sound.
HELLO, IF YOU'RE THE FUCKTARD WHO FUCKING SHOVED ME OUT OF THE MRT TODAY, GO TO HELL. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE RUSHING FOR BUT HELLO, BASIC MANNERS UH, EVERYONE WANTS TO GO HOME, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ANYHOW PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING WAY. AND PLEASE LUH, USE SOME FUCKING BRAINS, IF THE TRAIN IS PACKED AND YOU WANNA ALIGHT, MAKE YOUR WAY OUT EARLIER INSTEAD OF PLANTING YOUR ASS ON SOME SEAT THAT YOU JUST DON'T WANNA LET GO OF AND INSIST ON CHIONG-ING OUT THE LAST MINUTE. AND IF YOU INSIST ON DOING SO, AT LEAST MUTTER AN APOLOGY?! HOW DO YOU FUCKING FEEL IF YOU KENA PUSHED OUT OF A TRAIN. OH I FORGOT, YOUR ASS IS PROBABLY TOO FAT TO EVEN BUDGE.

If I wasn't in the fucking grey uniform, I swear I would make you eat dirt. Please, exercise some fucking basic courtesy on public transport.

And, common sense, if you're not gonna board the bus that is approaching the bus stop, kindly shift your ass away instead of acting like you've grown roots and refuse to make way. Please uh, use some brains, don't stone there like your boyfriend just died or something. Even so, life goes on, right.

yeah.
I'll wait until tomorrow,
Maybe you'll feel better then
Maybe we'll be better then
So what's another day,
When I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you?
This mood of yours is temporary.
It seems worth the wait to see you smile again.
Out of the corner of my eye,
Won't be the only way you're looking at me then.



Said that I'd never leave, said that I'd never leave.



& Once upon a time, her name ran through your veins.
I had breakfast with my shadow. We had quite a discussion.
He mentioned how below my mask, I had more than flesh,
how "I deserve better" undergoing blatant lies.
But in spite of everything, I will learn to love again,
to be someone's goodmorning and goodnight.
I'm finally here, to live and breathe my every fear,
to love and hate, smile and touch, hope, dispair, loath and tear.
With such a provocative attitude, I can piss the world off.
But why would I do that, love?


Random doodling on one of the benches in the Oasis.

L
O
L
.
1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.
(PS: If you agree to do the meme, then I'll send you the questions.)

1. No one
2. Rebecca
3. Amanda
4. Peter
5. Kaixin
6. Shann
7. Andrea
8. Celestia
9. Aiwei
10. Sheralyn
11. Jiehui
12. A LOT.
13. Tingli
14. girly: Felix ; manly: Celestia
15. My Maths Teacher
16. Guochen
17. Yuwei
18. Mhmm, no answer.
19. Xiangling
20. myself
21, 22. what is S type and M type?
23. Mom
24. Meiling
25. Jayvier
26. Joko
27. No such stupid people
28. Cute Chem Teacher :D
29. Cristiano Ronaldo
30. hahahahaha.


study, study =.=
The mind is liquid, fickle. Who is not familiar with its fast changing tides, the way it re-arranges our memories of, judgements on, our past experience? Can it really be trusted with choices? Or will you live to regret the exact thing that you swore was right?

I regret choosing to stay in NJ. You know, how it feels like to have nothing, nothing left at all. You're stucked at a time you know will never come back, and you wonder why you let others take control of your life for that matter. What did I really get out of this 2 years in NJ?

Nothing.

Sometimes, watching things slip right through your hands is an exhilarating feeling. The pain of the inability to salvage anything and yet witnessing its very own destruction. Soon you will learn to let go, even the dearest things you so desperately hold on to, the things you take pride in, the things that define who you are. Because for the record, everything kinda slips away carelessly eventually. If you're lucky, you get to grasp on to it for a longer time. Yeah, life is fair, in this sick manner.
After deep loss
what does the heart
learn that it has not already understood
about regret?
when all light finally
forsakes a room, do we take the time
to interrogate the dark, and to what end?


Practical Aim;
Like a seed with its singular purpose



my right knee is dying, hai.



Ignore my unglam face, let's focus on mr joko teo. I think he looks cute for a passport photo taken at age fifteen :D


(hahaha it looks like something for the marriage certificate.)


My posts are getting more random, one day I shall gather enough brain cells to post something more intellectually challenging.
While typing this, a random black insect flew through the window, past my face, and headed straight for the mouse.

And,

it freaking disappeared inside the mouse.

Okay, random.


"I want long legs, you know, like those models."
"Mhmm, you should walk more."
insert really really serious expression.

hahaha okay, random.


Black stud makes you look evil, white contrasts more with your skin colour. I can find your earhole and make it painless, because I'm a girl.

random, again.


I'm an inner sadist, I like to contort my own mind. Are you sure you still wanna know me?
It's scary how much control we have over our lives sometimes. Because we're fully and solely responsible for how our lives have turned out. External factors thrown at you mercilessly?
you could have been stronger. so fucking much stronger.


Sorry,
I rather hurt myself than to let it hurt you.



I'm all too used to that feeling.
Caution: High sugar content ahead.

I woke up happy today, and I like waking up happy (: Imagine waking up to a McGriddles breakfast, hash brown and large iced milo inclusive, youtiao(s), carrot cake, a packet of rice, 2 cup noodles in 2 different flavours and 4 letters in purple envelopes sprayed with the perfume that I like, who wouldn't be happy? :D

Studying at town + interesting lunch place + malaysia high commission afterwards was pretty amusing. (Please don't get detained and beaten up at the customs baby, be nice remember, be nice (: )


& I like the way you always give me more than what I asked for, and every little thing you do that makes me smile.
Funny how I don't feel much. Maybe it's good in a way. I swear to god I'm not cut out for this, I will never be. It sounds insane but I'm not sure about what I'm doing anymore.

My fascination for words is a sin. How many times did I willingly allow myself to follow those pretty words, those tempting promises, only to find nothing, nothing at all?

I was right to say words are cheap, talk is even cheaper. Or maybe it's just me, and if that's the case, it's fucking sad to be me.
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It'll all be the same


Sometimes I think no one deserves to be loved because we are all selfish. Love, the most selfless thing, very sadly, is selfish. It's selfish because you don't want the one you love to love another. You're undeserving, yet you still want to be loved. You're selfish.

It's like a butterfly effect. You can't make things perfect. Everything you do or try to fix entails another screw up somewhere else. Everyone can't be happy.

So everyone is selfish and we can't all be happy.

Will you grow up to be all the things you hate?

We always hurt the ones we love.
The ones you swore never to hurt.

No point, really. You make me feel sick, downright sick.
She said let’s change our luck
This night is all that we’ve got
Drive fast until we crash
This dead end life
Sweet dreams that won’t come true
I leave it all for you
Brick walls are closing in
Let’s make
A run tonight

I still love words, they're the prettiest things created.


Recent conclusion reached by the polies: we settle at an equilibrium state of grumpy-ness. You know, just like how chemical equilibrium works.


But alas, life's pretty decent, just the way I want it to be (:
Wall E was just awfully cute :D

And aha, we take terrible pictures. He like to give the exact same face in every single shot, and I like screwing up my face.




jooooooooooko (:


So anyway, conclusion of the day:
The earth is round,
What goes around, comes around.
I believe in Karma.